20 Jokes Every Grammar Nerd Will Appreciate

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

BY BRANDON SPECKTOR  ( sourec;- READER'S  DIGEST )

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. (Love bar jokes? We got you covered!)

TQ: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.

T“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “To.” “To who?” “Actually, it’s to whom.” (Get a chuckle out of these other hilarious knock-knock jokes.)

Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe? A: They’re too possessive

 Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers? A: Subordinate clauses

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, "Couldn't! Wouldn't! Shouldn't! Didn't! Can't!"? She was having contractions.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

"Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral." —Demetri Martin (Loved this joke? Have a laugh at these clever math jokes.)

Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words? A: A Thesaurus

Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate? A: The noun declined.

Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?

I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out. It could spell disaster.

When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet? Nobody knew why.

Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it? A: Short

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nazi? A: “There, their, they’re.”

When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.” I said, “Who